Different Worlds with a chance of forgiveness.

Life is very often taken for granted. Not always purposely, but with the hustle and bustle of our busy lives, we tend to forget the details/ We often react harshly to initial emotion. In the process, we unintentionally hurt loves ones. Our judgment becomes clouded, and the possibility of disagreement is created with the people in our lives.

Fights are inevitable but they waste time. Differences in personalities and opinion are usually the culprit. The world is a melting pot, so differences are not necessarily a bad thing. However, when a discrepancy or an argument surfaces you must do your best to work it out. "Cool, calm and collected is ideal, but sometimes seems impossible." when you hurt someone's feelings you must analyze it. The idea is to resolve it before you waste too much time and energy on it.

I grew up modestly. I didn't come from a wealthy family, so I learned value very quickly. Whenever I receive anything, I am extremely thankful. I take very good care of my possessions. I also value the people in my life. I do my best to reassure the people close to me how thankful I am for them. I let them know they are doing a great job and I am proud of them. Believe me, I am far from perfect, but I do the best I can to stay rational.

Last night (now a few nights later because I didn't get to type this for a few days lol) an issue with a loved one deeply affected me. I usually let things go pretty easily but this one not so much. I purchase something for the person. He was frustrated with it, and referred to it as  "that thing." The way he spoke about it was in a rude tone of voice as well. I work very hard to give the people I love everything possible. 

I had my usual reaction, which is ... getting quiet. My thought process is if I'm quiet, I am able to think about my reaction. I repeatedly asked me what was wrong, but I wasn't ready to talk about it yet. Finally, I confronted him. I let him know how he made me feel. He apologized and showed remorse. Honestly, I am trying not to hold a grudge but it's different. My mind is left to wonder what he actually thinks of me. Trust is the center of good communication. I cannot help but be worried.

Now, I've had another few hours to think about all of this. I am at the "where do we go from here?" point. Do I forgive even though I have my doubts? Do I say goodbye? I guess I need more time to think about it. I'm not even sure if there are any other options. Also, weighing on my mind heavy is our past arguments and how many times I have forgiven this person. 

I really want to put this past us. I have so many other things coming up. School starts Monday,

 and I'm worried about maintaining that balance. Knowing my support system is 100% there for me is very important to me. 

As Always,

Artistically Yours

Update on this issue: 

It's a couple days later and I'm still fighting my feelings with this issue. I've decided to try and work through it because this person means a lot to me. We've been through so much, and I don't want to give that away. Sometimes, you have to make yourself uncomfortable for the people we love. I've chosen to open my mind and my heart to forgiveness. It might be a while before that is built, but I know where I am is exactly where I need to be.

SIDE NOTE: 

THIS SUNSET WAS ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS TONIGHT, and I DEFINITELY WANTED TO SHARE THIS WITH YOU ALL.

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