"What is Artistically Yours for 500 Mr. Trebek."

High school was one of my least favorite points in life, as I am sure it is for everyone. I met a lot of challenges. I have a little bit of a temper, so keeping my patience with my classmates (sometimes) proved to be difficult. My school was segregated by three types of students. There were the "geeky" popular people, the "geeky" athletes and the geeks. The reason why I say that everyone was a geek is that I went to an academy high school. We were all kids who had a chosen career path. I didn't fit in anywhere there, even the teachers noticed it.

I didn't want to go back to public school for many reasons. I didn't want to be looked at as Mikes sister ( which happened all the time because my brother was the good kid ). I also wanted so badly for there to be something special about me. Every time I put on those scrubs, I felt special. I thought the medical field was where I belonged (I wasn't half bad at it). Years began to pass, and my passion never grew. I was bored and unattentive. In fact, one of my teachers even approached me about it. She said that I worked harder on the doodles that lined my tests and homework then I did the actual assignment. She suggested I'd go to art school.

Like any hell-bent teen, I didn't listen. Graduation came and went. The celebrations stopped, and the adult life kicked in. I had been working since I was fifteen, but now I was going to be full time. The week of graduation I started working for a restaurant. I actually did pretty well there in tips and my boss/coworkers really enjoyed my company. It was by no means my dream job, but it was a start. A couple of years passed, and the days became redundant. I didn't feel like I was working to my full potential. I couldn't find one shred of happiness, pride, or passion in what I did. I was just working and existing.

Through those years, I even took time off of drawing. I sketched doodles here and there, but nothing seemed to inspire me. I knew I had to do something life-changing. I started searching for colleges online. I ended up pursuing an education degree. Beyond that job, and a few others in the mix I ended up becoming an assistant in a preschool (eventually working my way up to becoming a lead). Teaching was rewarding. I loved seeing the kids learn new things. I loved challenging their emotions. Their families were so happy with the progress their child had made. However, the redundant thoughts seemed to linger once again.

I had picked up my sketchbook, and my art a little more at that time. Art time with the children made me crave it. I helped decorate other teachers rooms, and eventually, I was basically drawing for everyone in the school. The thoughts were silenced for a little bit because of this. I started to increasingly notice changes going on at my job. Employees were in and out. The number of children that were moving to other schools was becoming scary. I was afraid for my job. I began looking for other places of employment. I stumbled upon an easy job at a lab testing water. This too became meaningless.

I was starting to get depressed. I couldn't find a purpose in everyday life. I was existing, but I wasn't living. I made sure the house was looked after, that my loved ones were happy, and that I contributed to the bills. Every time, I felt worthless I turned to art. Art was always there for me. I wouldn't even draw anything specific. Having the pencil in my hand made me so happy.

Another side job that I assumed (which is apart of our shop: Bulletproof Pro shop) is lessons. Lessons gave me the extra cash that I needed to create and bowl. I love bowling too. I love watching the people I coach suceed. Sometimes, it's difficult to schedule everyone, but somehow it all seems to work itself out. I still bowl competitively (which is a whole other blog post that I am sure will be coming soon), and I enjoy competing with the UBA team I partially own.

One of my favorite things about bowling is the people that it's brought into my life. I am surrounded by the worlds most amazing support system. Whether a close friend or just acquaintances, they have all changed my life for the better. To name a few, (a squad, lol) Eric, Alex, Jeff, and Jason. They inspire me to be the woman that I am. They give me strength whenever I need it. They test my patience from time to time, but doesn't everyone's family do that? (lol). They love little Hannah and give her the entire world. They ensure our safety. They hold me whenever I need to cry. Whenever the world is too tough for me to handle alone, they're always there to push me through. Words cannot begin to describe how thankful and how honored I am that they have chosen my life to be a part of.

These gentlemen, and of course little Hannah inspired me to go back to school. A dream I had always had and was too scared to go after. I never felt that my art would ever be good enough to pass art school (or carry a 4.0 GPA!) I even accomplished my first art show. In the summer I hope to do more. They've opened my mind to different cultural experiences within the art world. They help care for Hannah when I have 20 sketches due the next day. Needless to say, I am blessed, and for the first time in a long time, I am proud.

"Miss Artistically Yours" became my pseudonym on Instagram, and in the UBA (ironically). I wanted a catchy handle that people would remember. I wanted the name to be girly, yet fierce. I wanted my own version of "Clark Kent". When I am creating, it's almost like I go to another world. A world where there aren't problems and no one can touch me. I can sit, take my time and work on a project. I can fit small details, such as a hidden signature that will have you searching for days.

I also would like to plug a little extra inspiration that came from a very motivated ex-coworker who shared the same love for art that I did. (@medivialmouse) Not sure that you will see this, but from the bottom of my heart, thank you!

Art school has tested my will to create. It has pushed an artist inside of me out that I never knew was there. When I felt the sketches, readings, tests, and assignments were too overwhelming I kept reminding myself of the goal. I needed to finish this dream for myself, and receive the ultimate gift; Graduation. Art school has even shifted my career goal. I've always wanted to enter the Disney program, but since working for the government (and even with the shut down) I am now looking into art/communication for the FBI.

I will leave my readers with a little bit of advice. Don't second guess yourself. When your heart knows where you belong, run to it. Chase that dream. Even if it ends at a "dead end" street, at least you will never regret not trying. Life is too short to be anything but happy so making the most of it is so important. You will fail, fall, and make mistakes. You will become exhausted, uninspired and unmotivated. Dreams don't become reality unless you put in the hard work and dedication. The future belongs to those who believe in their dreams. You've got this. NEVER, EVER, EVER GIVE UP.

Have a glorious Monday, and a restful sleep tonight. Tomorrow could be everything you've been waiting for.

As always,
Artistically Yours

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