Your legacy lives on, I promise.

Dedicated to my guardian angel:
Kevin A. Ade 
Rest In Peace
April 28th, 2007

Today, I'm going to tell you somewhat of a "fairy tale." Except, there are no princes or princesses. There isn't a happy ending, and there is no hero. This is a story of sadness, loss, and strength.

Life is funny. Not "Haha" funny, but ironic. We never expect to meet someone who is going to change our lives. "How could one person attribute to so much of who we are?" The world is so hell-bent on being "independent" that we would rather be stubborn then accept the help of another. When I was sixteen, I was just that. I was a stubborn teenager, who knew everything. I didn't accept "no" as an answer. I didn't believe that I needed help. As long as I had myself, and my happiness I was doing okay. I had no clue that I was about to meet someone who would change that mentality forever.

I began working in a mall pet store the year of my sixteenth birthday. I cleaned kennels, fed and bathed the dogs. It was my first job, and it wasn't glorious. After being with dogs the entire first half of my shift, I didn't smell too pretty either. My boyfriend (at the time) came to my job and met up with me for a break. He was a little older than me, and he had a lot of friends. We walked to the food court and sat down for some Taco Bell. 

I am the type of person that is always looking onward. After I finished my meal, I began looking around at the people floating by at the food court. I kept thinking to myself "Boy, I don't want to go back to the dogs." As I began cleaning up our trays, I walked back over to the table and my "popular" boyfriend was talking to someone. Next to him, stood a large and tall blonde haired man with glasses. My boyfriend introduced me, I said hello and a smile that was so infectious greeted me back. 

Time passed, and the boyfriend I had been seeing was no longer my boyfriend. However, his friend and I had connected over social media. Kevin was working at Sears, just a floor above me for the same amount of time that I was at the pet store. Every day, Kevin, began spending his lunch break with me. He would bring me Auntie Anne's pretzels, as he knew they were my favorite. We gathered so many memories with one another. We laughed so much. We enjoyed the same types of music. He was an incredible bass player. I loved to watch him. One year, we even got to attend "Battle of the Bands together". Everything was going great.

I woke up on an early April 28th getting ready for my shift. I wasn't too excited about the day, but I was excited to see Kevin later that day. I knew he was on his way to work. I checked my myspace, but I hadn't seen anything. This was odd, but I assumed he was running late or got busy. However, I did have another notification, which was weird because I didn't talk to anyone else much. It was a notification from my ex-boyfriend. I read the words over and over again in disbelief. Kevin was gone.

He was killed by a drunk driver at 10 a.m. that morning, and my heart was absolutely shattered. I stood there numb, my mind couldn't process it. I began to shake, and I fell to the floor. The crying became uncontrollable. The days following weren't any better. Kevin's viewing and funeral seemed to drag on. I arrived there early, and I saw his casket was open. I felt like I had just stopped crying, but the tears began to flow again. I was going to see him for the last time, not in a way I wanted too. I was so afraid.

I approached the casket cautiously, and he was laying there peacefully. He seemed like he was sleeping. Kevin looked like the last time I had seen him. I wanted him to jump up at me, and tell me he was kidding. I wanted him to be playing the worlds worst joke on me. As the funeral director came in and told everyone to be seated, I inched my way to my seat. As each one of his friends got up and told their stories about him the room seemed to pause. I searched around the room where I spotted my cousin. As usual, he was keeping his cool. In fact, he was okay until they told him they needed him to be a pallbearer. 

We made our way to the cemetery, which seemed to be the slowest drive of my life. They told us to turn our radios to a certain station (I can't remember which one) and it played "spirit in the sky." It seemed to fit him so well, just so cool and laid back. I had my windows down, and I could smell those beautiful purple flowers the entire drive. I knew that was him sending signs. Even when we got to the burial, and we all placed our roses on his casket he was sending signs. They played Ozzy as they lowered his casket into the ground. The recording kept stopping during the service, and I felt like he was trying to tell me that I would be okay. 

I stayed a while after the service. I visited every single day for months. Every time the anniversary comes, it is a tough day for me. I do my best to lay low and same goes for his birthday. I miss him. I wish he was here for so many things. I wish he could have met the amazing people I have in my life. I wish he could see what an incredible artist, bowler, student, mother, lover, friend, sister, aunt (and so much more) that I am. He would have been so proud of me. 

The love that I have for Kevin, will last a lifetime. I know the hurt will never fully go away. I have done my best to treat life the way he did. Most of who I am is what I learned from him. I had no idea how valuable life truly was until I lost him. I make sure that I treat everything with care and caution. I don't take things for granted. I've learned to be thankful and try and make the best out of any situation. His memories will always make me smile. A few months ago, I came across another sign. Two videos that featured him in it were sent to me. I replayed them at least 1,000 times. It was a dream come true. For years, I had been saying all I have ever wanted was to see him smile one more time, and there it was (.48 seconds into the video), that wonderful, infectious smile. 

Thank you so much, Kevin, for everything you gave me, and inspired me to be while you were here. Thank you for being the best guardian angel a woman could ask for. Thank you for sending good vibes my way, and keeping those I love protected. 

I'll see you on the other side.